“First Officer Blackfive reporting for duty, sir…. Oh…. Where’s the Captain?”
Sissy Willis looked up. “I’m the Captain now, Commander. Captain Smash retired.”
“Really? I haven’t been on vacation that long. Two weeks.”
“Actually, Commander, it’s been a year.”
“What? Oh, yeah." he said sheepishly, "I suppose that's what I get for rock climbing on an asteroid that’s in orbit around a black hole.”
“There’s that.”
“Did I miss a good party?”
A wistful smile came on the Captain’s face, “Yeah.”
“Damn. By the way, where’s Science Officer Den Beste? I’ve got some really cool samples to show him from my vacation.”
“Commander Den Beste retired.”
“What? I missed that party too?”
“Oh yeah. You know, he’s a lot more fun than you would think.”
“Damn. Any more changes I should know about?”
“Well, Commander Glenn Reynolds is the new Science Officer, and Lt Commander John Scalzi is the new Ship’s Psychiatrist. Oh, and I finally changed out the personality module of the ship’s computer. Watch this." She spoke to the air, "Computer?”
“Yes, my Captain? How may your humble servant serve you?”
“Cool huh?” Captain Willis said.
“Much, much better”
“Hey buddy,” the air around him said. “You bugging my Captain?”
“Um, no,” Matt said, “I’m just returning from vacation and reporting for duty. The Captain is catching me up on the changes.”
“Captain,” the Computer said, “you want I should throw this bum out?”
“What?!” Matt cried, “Captain? What’s up with this?”
“Don’t take that tone of voice with the Captain.”
“He’s a little protective.” Sissy explained.
“Look buddy, that tone of voice was for you." Blackfive fumed. "And if you have a problem with it…”
“Hey, you want to take this outside?” The Ships Computer threatened
“Outside? Outside where? You’re already outside and inside. You’re all over the ship.”
“I mean outside outside, buddy.”
“Oh no you don’t, I’ve seen that movie.”
“Scardy cat.”
“What?! I’ll pull your personality module myself you ludicrous lump of….”
“Boys, boys.”
“I’ll tear ya limb from….”
“Computer!”
“Yes, my Captain? How may your humble servant serve you?”
"Go away."
“I hear and obey.”
“Wow. Things have changed.”
“Yeah”
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