Star Chores: Bug Hunt
Captain Smash of the USS Surprise walked briskly out of the elevator and onto the bridge. As a Starship Captain, he didn’t have to give orders to be briefed. Commander Matt Blackfive, First Officer, walked him to the command chair and began talking.
“The colony on Beta Gamma IV has reported that they are under attack. It is a new colony sir, established only three years ago. They would like us to respond immediately.”
“Who is attacking them?” The captain shifted in his seat.
“It’s not a who, sir. It’s…”
“Cockroaches.” Science Officer Lt Commander Steven Den Beste filled him in.
“What?”
“Ah, yes sir,” Matt began, “they seem to have been infested more than invaded.”
“So what do they want us to do? It sounds like they need an exterminator.”
“The last thing they said before communication was mysteriously discontinued was that the very survival of their colony was at stake.”
The captain did not hesitate. “OK, OK. Mr. Blackfive, take us out of orbit and lay in a course for Beta Gamma IV.”
Lt. Donovan please lay in a course for Beta Gamma IV,” Commander Blackfive ordered.
“Aye sir. Course for Beta Gamma IV laid in sir.”
“Warp factor 4. Engage.”
“Aye sir. Warp factor 4. Engage.”
“Sir?”
The captain turned his head. “Yes Faire, go ahead.”
“I was wondering. What’s the charge number for a bug hunt?”
“Captain’s Log, star date ….”
Smash paused for a moment. He cleared his throat, and spoke with a slight bit more confidence in his voice.
“Captain’s Log, star date…”
He snapped the recorder off.
“Gosh darn it,” he blustered. “Does anyone know what the star date is?”
“Ah, yes sir.” Den Beste stepped forward, “It’s 347.612” then stepped back smartly.
“No it’s not,” Commander Blackfive corrected. “The star date is 621.437. It’s leap year.”
“Excuse me, but you are both wrong.” They turned to see Lieutenant BarcoRaptor. “The actual star date is 533.1. Remember? The dating sequence changed a week ago when the treaty with the Sirius system was signed.”
They all nodded.
“Oh yes. Sirius.”
But this did not end the discussion. The bridge broke out in turmoil over the date. Finally, Captain Smash took control.
“Enough!”
There was a hush. Smash stood.
“I know how to settle this.”
He addressed the ceiling.
“Computer.”
Everyone looked up.
Silence.
“Computer!”
“What!”
“Oh, there you are.”
“Where else would I be? I’m not an android you know. I’m not that fancy-dancy ‘droid BarcoRaptor. No not me. I’m stuck right here at the beck and call of every whinny yeoman and officer, every bug and rat, every…”
“Yes, yes. Computer. What is the star date?”
“Nothing could be simpler. The correct star date is three.”
“Three?, “Smash paused, “You’re sure. It’s three.”
“Yes. Three.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Captain’s Log, stardate three. Captain Smash of the USS Surprise. Entry: “We are en route to the Gamma IV star system in response to a distress call from the planet Beta Gamma IV. Reports by the colonists of an overwhelming cockroach invasion will be investigated.”
Smash snapped the recorder off and looked around.
“Lt. Ladiefare, what is our status?”
“We are 90% there sir.”
“Ninety percent? Lt. Ladiefare, are you sure? I mean, we just departed. Could you recheck your figures, please?”
“Aye, sir.”
Faire put her head down and rummaged for the Starfleet manual. She opened the well-worn pages and began thumbing. She stopped. Looked down, and mused to herself: “5% for leaving orbit...10% for laying in a course…yes…20% for engaging warp drive…uh huh…40% hmmmm..15%….”
She looked back at the captain. She nodded her head firmly.
“Yes sir. Ninety percent.”
“Hmmm, well OK. Well, when will we actually arrive at Beta Gamma IV?”
Faire looked at her captain with study in her eye.
“Well, that’s pretty hard to say, sir, until we actually get there.”
***
They approached the planet. Smash looked at it on the viewer as they dropped to sub-light speed. A planet always made him feel comfortable, like seeing an oasis in the desert or a campfire in the night.
Suddenly, however, he felt dread.
“Sir, Klingon vessel approaching our port bow.”
“Joanie,” barked the captain to his Security and Weapons Officer Joanie D’Goddess.
“Confirmed. It’s a battle cruiser.”
“Shields up, go to yellow alert. Lt. BarcoRaptor, put it on the viewer. Open a comm channel. Commander D’Goddess: Secure the bridge.”
“Bridge Secure, Captain.”
“Comm channel open, Captain.”
The activity was high but unhurried, as the bridge was suddenly bathed in yellow light. Tension filled the air as the menacing form of the deadly vessel popped onto the screen in front of them. For some, it was their first time. For others, scars of the past began to itch. Everyone knew their lives depended on their professionalism and their captain.
“Klingon warship, this is Captain Smash of the USS Surprise. Please identify yourself and state your business here. You are in violation of Federation space. If you do not respond we will have no choice but to engage you in combat.”
“Captain Smash,” a deep guttural voice with serpent undertones slipped out of the speakers on the bridge.
“This is the Klingon starship Qxotocatrl, or PeaceMaker in your tongue. We mean you no harm. We are merely slightly off course from our normal shipping lanes…”
“Captain.”
It was D’Goddess.
“What is it Joanie.”
“Captain, they are firing on us.”
And from the speakers on deck “…we are poor little Klingons who have lost our way…”
“Red Alert. All hands to battle stations. This is not a drill. I repeat. Red Alert. All hands to battle stations. This is not a drill.”
“Mr. Blackfive, full power to the shields. Helm: Hard about mark two three zero. Heading: One two zero. Phasors and photon torpedoes ready to fire.”
“Aye sir.” Smash swung around to D’Goddess as Blackfive relayed his orders.
“What have they hit us with so far.”
“Phasors, Captain.”
The door to the bridge swung open and Commander Jason Van Steenwyk entered. No one noticed.
“Mr. Blackfive. On my command, fire two phasor banks at their main shield. Wide spread. Delay exactly ten seconds then fire two torpedoes.”
“Aye sir.”
“On your mark…”
All eyes were on the viewer.
“Fire!”
“Fire banks 1 and 4, maximum spread!” Blackfive echoed.
“Phasors fired, sir.”
A pause, then.
“Away torpedoes.”
“Away torpedo tubes 1 and 2.”
“Torpedoes away, sir.”
Smash swung around to look at his WO.
“What about it, Joanie.”
“Direct hit. Assessing damage now…..No damage captain.”
“No damage? How can that be?”
“Recalibrating sensors. Confirmed, captain. No damage to the Klingon vessel.”
Smash turned to look at the viewer.
“Sir five more Klingon vessels have just dropped out of warp. They are maneuvering to surround us”
To be continued...
